This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
