glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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