If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
