Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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