Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
