The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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