are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
