Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
