last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
