Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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