ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
