I queefed so loud it echoed.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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