PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
