Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
