"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
