I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
