Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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