we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
