I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
