careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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