the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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