Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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