K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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