i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
