Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
