can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
