Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I need moral support for this bender
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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