YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
