Dual....:-)
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
