You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
