apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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