You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
