Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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