after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
third nipple confirmed
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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