k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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