i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
