I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
