After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
