when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
