This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
