Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
