What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
