small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
