But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
