If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Drunk is not a location!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
