it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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