did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
