Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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