It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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