She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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