jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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