Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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