How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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