She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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