her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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