the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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