I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
