I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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