I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
