worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
