Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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